The Churchill Downs of film blogs.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Welcome to No Horseshit Movies

Hello all! Thank you for choosing No Horseshit Movies. I know how it goes, you wake up one day with a general sense of excitement about seeing a new movie. Perhaps it is just new to you. You maybe want to rent it or catch it down at the $1.50 theatre, where the floor is like fly paper and the seats look like Jackson Pollack paintings (except the stains on the seats have a little more artistic merit). But I digress... So, you want to see (insert name of film here) and some yahoo on a popular search site or local news paper tells you it sucks ass through a straw.

This can be a bit disheartening. You wonder how something that looks so awesome from the previews can be getting so torn to shreds by the same guy who, twelve years ago, told you the showy epic Titanic was the greatest thing since indoor toilets. Ah, I can explain this in one simple word: out of touch.

A lot of these critics reviewed The Wizard of Oz when it came out in 1939. They probably liked it, and gave it favorable reviews. Shit, I might have given it a favorable review. But, of course, I didn't because my parents wouldn't be born until a number of years after its release. Point is, movies have changed a lot: what Gene Shallot's mummified corpse likes is not necessarily going to coincide with what, say, a internet-savvy 20-something is going to like.
[As a side note, I actually have nothing against Gene, he's like the great grandfather I never knew.]


So here is where we can all get a realistic view of what is good and bad about movies today. Will the latest $90 million action flick live up to the hype, or is Hollywood gonna drop a deuce the size of Spiderman 3 and smear it all over your eyeballs? Find out here. I am going to try to get reviews of some "now on DVD" stuff up ASAP to get the blog rolling. What good would a review blog be if it didn't have the "In theatres now" junk? So, we'll have plenty of that too. Maybe I'll even do The Wizard of Oz when I get a chance for the 11 of you who haven't seen it yet. One thing this blog will sorely be lacking, which can be found at other film review blogs and sites all over the net: horseshit!

Later,

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